Push the button (short story; pt. 2)

Sent: April 24, 2006 9:13 AM
Subject: online tutorial

Mr. Hassan,

When you get a moment, check out this link (below) and run through the tutorial. Take your time. It is Monday after all. Be sure to forward me the results from your test.

http://www.peoplecracker.com/cc/qna/html

Thanks,

Bill Hayden
C.E.O. Cuerpo Corp., LLC
1.866.025.1913, ext. 5213

In a perfect world, we all could get paid for doing absolutely nothing. However, I work in the real world, where your boss makes you click on links that send you to websites called HighPeerEon.com. You click, and wackiness ensues.

< >

\cf2 So, how are you enjoying our little corner of the world?
\cf6 Umm, okay, I guess..who's this?
\cf2 I met you at the meeting yesterday..angry blond woman
\cf6 ahh, okay...so what happened to your lunch?
\cf2 who knows...this is the third time it's been stolen
\cf2 So, what are you doing? I know that you're not working...haven't been here long enough.
\cf6 wrong....working on the HighPeerEon survey
\cf2 LMAO...sucker...
\cf6 yeah, it's pretty -

And then, there was a third party on the line.

< >< >

\cf1 Mr. Hassan, would you mind swinging by my office?
\cf6 No sir...i'm on my way...
\cf1 Thanks..BH

\cf2you still there?
\cf6 sorry...i just got summoned to the end of the hall
\cf2 spooky...you just got here, and you're already going down...
\cf6 what does that mean?
\cf2 IDK...we'll see when you get back
\cf6 later
\cf2 later

As luck would have it, I bumped into Mr. Fix It as I approached Mr. Hayden's door.

“You lookin’ for Bill?”

“Yeah. I just received an IM asking me to come down…”

“An IM? From Bill?”

“That's what my computer says,” I assured .

“Well, he’s been out of the office for an hour or so. So, I don t know where your IM came from. But a couple of people at the far end of the office said that they were experiencing some computer glitches too. Don’t worry. I m on it,”Dennis assured.

“ That’s crazy. But hey, you’re the expert. Just get me hooked up.”

“Will do.”

Halfway down the hall, I heard my cellphone go off. I ran to catch it, but as I approached the door to my office Mr. Hayden rounded the corner.

“Mr. H. How’s the first day on the job going?”

“Well, aside from my computer acting up, it’s been fine. But Dennis said that he’d look at it for me.”

“Dennis is our god around here. If it can be fixed, he’s the man to do it.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“Hey, don’t take my word for it. Just ask some of the folks down at the other end of the hall. They think that he’s the best thing since sliced bread.”

“Well, I don't know about that,” I snickered. “He seems nice enough, but sliced bread is pretty damn good.”

A droll smile came across Mr. Hayden’s face. As he inhaled and exhaled, his lavender tie rose and fell against his blue button-downed beer belly. He placed his left hand on my shoulder and motioned in the direction of his office, as he explained that it was time for his near noon nap. He sauntered off, with his loafers squeaking the whole way. So, I turned and walked into my office; the coolly lit box with the intermittently working fluorescent lights. As I stared out of the window, I listened to the branches scrape against the glass. When I came to, I had grease stains on my desk blotter, and Hot Pocket drippings on my shirt. Then, my computer spoke to me.

Sent: April 24, 2006 2:37 AM
Subject: online tutorial

Wrap up your Amazon orders, and your solitaire games, and go home. But rest assured, tomorrow I m going to work you all like slaves.

Thanks,

Bill Hayden
C.E.O. Cuerpo Corp., LLC
1.866.025.1913, ext. 5213

< >

\cf6 well, email says that the work day is done…
\cf2 Yeah, I just got a note also
\cf6 So, I’ll catch you tomorrow
\cf2 Oh, I’ll be here…before anyone else...
\cf6 if we keep having days like this, I may have to come in early with you
\cf2 that's what they want you to do
\cf6 I bet

-- Drék Davis is a writer, mixed media artist, and Professor of Art at Grambling University in Louisiana.

An archive of Drék's articles is located here.

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